The Redbrick House
by WhytMajic
Summary: The Baudelaire children are, once more, moved to a new home. CHAPTER 3 is up.
1. A Golden Key and A Bay Window

A/N: I do not own, so do not sue.

A Golden Key and A Bay Window

The story that I must relate to you, is a continuation from the voice of one such, Lemony Snicket. I am afraid that I cannot say it is a happy tale. In fact it is quite the opposite. This occurrence that I must share is another in the Baudelaire chronicles. Another that results in such horrific and catastrophic events that in all honesty I wish you would just set this book down. This does not mean, however, that events in the middle are quite as bad… But you'll just have to read to find out.

Violet Baudelaire sat in the front seat of Mr. Poe's car, fishing in his glove compartment for a set of obnoxious and jangly keys. Three times he had told her she couldn't miss them. Four times, she had gone diving into the glove box. And two times her head had connected with the hard surface as the banker screeched the car to a halt at traffic lights, fussing over the loss of the keys, the enormous amount of paperwork he had to do that day, and the large welt that was growing on the oldest Baudelaire's temple.

"Ouch!" Violet shrieked again as the car pulled to a rough stop and her hand slammed into the back of the compartment, trying to avoid head contact for a third time.

Mr. Poe was concerned, "Dear child, it cannot be THAT hard to find a set of keys. They're gold, and shiny, and good gracious, Violet, quit hurting yourself!"

Violet opened her mouth to speak, clearly annoyed at Mr. Poe's lack of driving finesse, but closed it again as she thought better of it.

Here I will pause the story, for as you all know, the further you get into any reading without the proper information, the sooner you become confused. And the sooner you become confused, the more befuddled you will end up. The word "befuddled" here means, "thoroughly discombobulated, or unaware of details like who did what, when, where and why and just how they connect". So, as it goes, this snippet of the Baudelaire orphans files comes between the sections labeled conveniently "The Wide Window" and "The Miserable Mill," or books 3 and 4, for those such movie goers. Thwarting Count Olaf's attempts to ransack their lives any further and keeping their fortune close at hand, the siblings were now headed to their new home. And everyone knows what that means, for even though Klaus, Sunny and Violet Baudelaire were the best and the brightest, their blue ribbons and their logical brains didn't keep them from fretting over this new 'relative'. So, just as the despairing car of Mr. Poe continued to putt along the street, we shall continue to trace each of the Baudelaire's steps in this newfound journey.

Peering wearily out the back window sat the middle orphan, Klaus Baudelaire. His eyes half open, he kept his bleary gaze partially focused; only snapping back to reality when the vehicle screamed to a halt or gave off a particularly loud sputter.

In the middle of the back seat sat the youngest Baudelaire, teeth gnawing impatiently away at the extra tail-strap of her seat belt, Sunny blinked worriedly up at her brother.

"Meff," she stated her concern clearly, the children understanding her to have said something along the lines of "Klaus, don't look so down. Maybe this new person won't be so terrible?"

Reaching out with a small hand to pat his arm, Sunny looked for conformation from Violet. The eldest merely sighed. She didn't know what lay ahead, and quite frankly, she was at a point of her life where one would not particularly care. Right now, her mission was to find some dratted keys without knocking herself silly. Scowling at the dash board, she slid her hand through the thoroughly messed papers, flipping them sideways and upside down.

Now, if you were in Klaus' shoes, you would probably be looking at the road and pondering what devilish fate awaited you. But, if you took the time to look up and around at the passing scenery, you would have noted that you were driving through a sandy beach area and heading towards a good sized city. When I say 'good sized' here I mean large, or larger, and probably housing many restaurants, bookshops, and many a spare parts shop. In other words, if the children had cast their gaze anywhere but the glove compartment, the road and the lower parts of the door, though Sunny could barely see anything as it was, they would have found that life had taken a slightly happy and unexpected turn. This, however, does not mean that our story will be fortunate, for it is not. It only appears that way.

"Adah," Sunny sighed, which here probably meant "Are we there yet?"

Mr. Poe glanced in his rear-view mirror, "I know it feels like forever, Baudelaires, but we'll be there soon. Minny Massey was the next closest relative that I could find for you, and she lives three hours away. Dear children, if you insist on loosing your guardians this quickly I don't know what I'll do with you!"

All three children's eyes shot up at the name of their new guardian.

"Minny?" Violet asked.

"Yes, Minny, with a 'y'. But you're to call her Ms. Massey until she says otherwise," Mr. Poe replied a hand shooting out to point at the dash board once more.

"Violet, have you found them yet? I know they're in there! I received them from Ms. Massey and I must give them to you to enter her house. She made it plain to me that she would not be at home when you children get there."

The images of their caretaker danced through the children's head. Minny Massey; a hopeless feeling washed over them as they imagined a short and stocky woman briskly informing Mr. Poe that she would not be around to be introduced to the children, much less have time to properly care for them. Violet abandoned her search for the keys, Klaus moved his eyes from the road to the floor of the car and Sunny stopped chewing on her seatbelt.

"Oh don't look so glum," Mr. Poe sniffed, exasperated. "And where are those keys?"

Giving the glove box one last glance, Violet's eyes caught on something shiny that had been jammed in the back corner by her distracted search. Picking up the car registration, a piece of paper that signifies insurance and that Mr. Poe owns the vehicle, she squinted at the glinting metal. She could have sworn she was looking for a klinky keychain full of them, the way the banker had described it, but this was the only key she had seen.

"Found it," Violet proclaimed, taking the key out of its compartment to look it over.

The gold was beautiful and glimmered in the light of day. The metal had been sculpted into a long and lanky twist, the swirls making out the initials "MM" in beautiful script that vaguely reminded Violet of her mother's handwriting.

Mr. Poe closed the opening in the dashboard before focusing once more on his driving.

"We are almost there, Baudelaires. One more turn and a quick skip down the street--, " here he burst into one of his coughing fits, and for a moment, Violet worried that the car would swerve into the oncoming traffic.

Klaus instinctively looked out the window as they turned the corner, peeling, I use the word "peeling" here because as anxious as the children were, their eyes were held wide open as they observed their surroundings, his eyes wide open for a glimpse of their new home.

The streets of the suburbs were pale and orderly, with flowers painting the street in rows under trees and below windows. The houses were mostly two-stories of good size and usually painted in white, with some pastel trim of pink, yellow or blue. Every so often you would see someone who had gotten their colors switched but it was not a recurring occurrence, and the Baudelaire orphans could not help but wonder just what kind of place Mr. Poe had moved them into.

As they drove a quick skip, Mr. Poe hurriedly gave directions, "Now children, you are not to touch anything. Wait for permission. She has a very eccentric house, which means—"

"A little odd," Klaus finished his sentence vaguely, wondering if Minny Massey was one of the color-switched, non-conformists.

And Klaus would soon find he was right, partially. Pulling to a stop in front of a particularly white and clean house, Mr. Poe gestured for the children to exit the car, opening his own door and stepping outside. Taking a deep breath, the three orphans cast their eyes to the polished home before exiting the car as well. The key still clutched in her palm, Violet led her siblings to the trunk where Mr. Poe stood, unloading their suitcases that were filled with horrid clothing they had ripped to shreds not too long ago. However, they would never tell the affair manager what they had done.

Sunny in one arm, suitcase in the other, Klaus followed instep with his sister as Mr. Poe led them… away from the house.

"We… isn't that her house back there?" the middle child asked, confused.

"Oh no! Of course not!" Mr. Poe smiled calmly and pointed to the place across the street.

A tall and rather lovely house stood before them, its walls constructed of bright red brick and a rather large glass window pane in the front draped with brilliant emerald green curtains. The grand wooden door gave it a homely appearance, and added a flare, or "a bit", of mystery. For a minute the Baudelaires stood in awe at the contrast between the buildings, glancing at the freely growing ivy on the wall of Ms. Massey's home and then back to the boxed in flowers that lined the street and puzzled. How could someone in an area like this, in a suburb like this, on a street like this get away with such a unique building?

Directing their attention back to the large brick (and did I mention limestone?) building, the three siblings ogled at the manor. One of the windows on the second floor, in the front of Minny Massey's house was what people would call a 'bay window', or a window that curves out and away from the wall in a semi-circle, specially made with gothic stain-glass windows. There was another room in the back that they could see from the front yard with glass walls, a planetarium or green house, they assumed, which reminded them sadly of the reptile room. If they looked around the other corner, they could see a magnificent garden for cooking, planted beside a side door, one that connected to the kitchen, perhaps.

"Oooo," Sunny cooed, her eyes growing wide as she took everything in, which meant something along the lines of "Wow! This is a pretty house. I like it."

Violet and Klaus smiled at each other. Yes, things did seem fairly enchanting for the moment, and if one was to tell you just what was going through their heads, they would simply say, "Maybe. Just maybe, things were looking up."- An expression that refers to the coming of better times.

"Well, Baudelaires," Mr. Poe said after they had paused in their admiration. "This is where I leave you. Violet, you have the key, please do not leave it in the lock," here he stopped to cough, "and remember do not touch, behave yourselves, and be_very_ polite. I do not wish to drive all the way out here to retrieve you. Again."

And with that, Mr. Poe skedaddled, a word here that means "Mr. Poe moved to his car with haste", to his car before backing out of the curving, gravelly drive.

A/N: There ya have it! The first chapter! What do ya think? Origionally, this started out as a study off Snicket's style of writing. How do you think it turned out?


	2. The Broken Vase

A/N: I do not own, so do not sue.

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The Broken Vase

Reaching out with the key she had received from Mr. Poe, which he had in turn received from Minny Massey, the owner of the house they were about to enter, Violet could feel her siblings eyes on her. It was weird to be entering such an alien house by yourself, without the owner to show you about after greeting you at the door. No, the building was not extraterrestrial by any means. "Alien" is another term for something you do not know or understand at all--- something strange, and this is just how the Baudelaire children felt about to enter a place that they had never seen before, and could not touch anything, with a key that looked anything but normal.

Catching a reassuring look from Klaus, Violet nodded her head and turned the key in the lock. It fit perfectly and they didn't have to wait long for a click that allowed them to enter. Lowering Sunny to the ground between them, the eldest children gathered their suitcases and pushed the door open before stepping inside.

If they had thought the _outside_ was anything at all, it was nothing compared to the elaborate decorations on the _inside_ of their new home. Everything, from the paintings of oddly contorted objects that were hung on the walls, to the curious sketches of different contraptions that littered random desks, was smotheringly detailed. Moving closer to the center of the entry room, they peered about them taking in the beautiful vases and furnishings.

Approaching the staircase before them that ran up the far left wall and turned to go along the back and then the right, Klaus pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, while his eyes traced the intricate carvings that had been etched into the banister. Elaborate swirls and crosses, swivels and diamonds had been marked into the wood covering almost every inch.

Violet, in the other corner of the room had passed through an entry way into what she assumed to be the dining hall. Not lavishly big, it held a decent sized chandelier and a dark wood cabinet full of beautifully made statues and silhouettes.

Turning the opposite way, Sunny headed into the room on the left, her eyes taking in many musical instruments and framed art. The parlor, she assumed; and as young children often do, struggled not to touch any of the instruments that lay out in the open.

Once done with their exploring, the three met up in the entry hall again and peered past the stairs on the right. There was a hallway that went under them, curiously lit with candles that hung on the walls. Fake candles, but candles none the less; just enough to give it a mysterious air. With a small gulp, Violet led the way down the hall, passing a door or two, of which they doubted their rights to go inside. They had been told not to touch ANYTHING, and the only door that had been open in this hallway was the kitchen, which was connected to the dining room, and it was through this way that they traveled back to the entry way and then to the stairs.

It is now that I must say, had the children passed through the closed doors down that spooky hallway, the temptation of touching would have been too great. So, fortunately, they did not enter, however unfortunately, they were still miserable, sure that the woman that lived here new nothing about them nor wanted to.

Staring unpleasantly up the winding stair before them, the children paused, looking darkly at one another. Violet took Sunny's hand, Sunny took Klaus' hand and the three orphans started their long walk up the stairs, leaving their suitcases by the door.

An hour or so passed as the children became accustomed to their new home, pacing the floors, admiring the handy-work that went into every nook and cranny of each open room, and searching out probable bedrooms. They only found one closed door upstairs, which they assumed was Ms. Massey's and left quite well alone. But other then spare rooms, the only place of any interest was the upstairs gathering room which held a pool table, a mini bar and what was more than likely a game closet.

No library, no place for invention, and nothing to touch, let alone bite, the poor Baudelaire orphans returned to the head of the stairs, weary from travel and disheartened at the absence of their guardian.

"It's been forever and she's still not here," Klaus commented.

"Gah!" Sunny agreed.

"I only hope Count Olaf didn't cheat us out of a fortunate situation," Violet mused, pulling on the hair ribbon in her pocket. She was itching to invent something but without the ability to touch, there was only so much one could do.

Klaus nodded as they descended and sat down on the bottom stair, "I hope not…"

He then added hesitantly, and with a mite of sarcasm, "We ARE allowed to sit down right?"

Catching Violet halfway in the middle of a shrug, all three children were very surprised when they heard the front door swing loudly open and hit the wall with a thud. All eyes were now on the woman who stood in the threshold. Now, if I may remind you, Minny Massey was thought to be, by the Baudelaires, a quite short, possibly stocky, and very strict woman. This miscalculation led to even more surprise when a long and shapely pair of legs walked into the front hall. Legs, as everything above it was covered with enormous grocery bags, were all that the siblings could see.

"Hello? Baudelaires? Are you here yet?" a smooth and silky voice called out from behind stacks of toast, jellies and cream.

"I was told by Mr. Poe that I should have expected you an hour or more ago and I am dreadfully sorry that I am late, as I stopped by to pick up some things, but…." the soft and relaxed voice paused for a moment as the legs took their time to stumble over the entry way and then kick the door shut behind them. "Oh dear Lord, I hope I'm not talking to myself again!"

Picking up her cue, Violet snapped to and quickly said, "Oh! No, Ms. Massey! We're here!"

Both she and Klaus hurried to the very tall woman and reached out for the bags she carried. Taking one each, Minny was now left with two to carry and, as a result, they could now see her face properly. The rest of her was just like her legs: very long, and very slender. Even her auburn hair, tied back in a messy braid, reached the middle of her back. Her face was pale and thin with bright green eyes that matched her curtains and lips the color of her bricks, and the look that was placed upon it matched her voice exactly.

"Hello, dear Violet! Oh, and Klaus… and Sunny!" Minny smiled cheerfully. "How was your trip?"

"Oh, it was lovely, thank you," Klaus replied, too polite to mention the sickening hours they had spent in the car.

"Beeth," Sunny scowled, meaning "Speak for your self."

Minny noticed Sunny's look of discontentment and frowned, "Oh, whatever is the matter, Sunny?"

"We've all been in the car all day, Ms. Massey. Sunny hasn't really bitten anything besides a seatbelt since this morning…" Violet explained hurriedly.

"Meeh," Sunny added, probably translating to "And it tasted nasty!"

Minny Massey appeared shocked for a moment before setting down her bags of groceries and kneeling beside them. Even kneeling, the children noted that she was a little over their height. Proceeding to dig through the paper bag, Minny's face grew triumphant and she pulled out a big rubber cube that appeared to have dice spots on it.

"Here you go, darling," she handed the toy down to Sunny who gripped it tightly in her small hands.

"Bought this just for you this morning. I had an inkling you'd be a biter," Ms. Massey winked. "Come Baudelaires. It's time to make dinner."

This time, it was the children's turn to appear shocked. They hadn't expected Ms. Massey to be so… normal, much less take an interest in what they did during their free time. Following her silently, they headed down the mysterious hallway and through the kitchen door. Helping Klaus and Violet set their bags on the counter, their guardian's head shot up at a surprising sound.

A loud 'smash,' that had originated- or began in- the mysterious hallway, echoed into the kitchen. Violet and Klaus glanced worriedly at each other and then up at Ms. Massey. They were pretty sure Sunny had been the crash maker, meaning she had touched something. Both children looked up at Minny, unable to read her expression, though they could tell it was not happy. Following her out into the hallway, they found the sight that they held before them was not so pleasant.

"Sunny!" Ms. Massey let out a startled cry, spotting one of her intricate vases lying, shattered, on the floor.

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A/N: There's the second chapter. Let me know what you think of Minny. Anyway, you requested, so I wrote it. Hope you like! 


	3. Tish Tosh Pasta

A/N: I do not own, so do not sue.

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Tish-Tosh Pasta

If any of you have ever broken something of meaning in your house before, you know that when you hear it snap, crash, bang, boom, shatter, smash, splinter, break, crunch, etc. that it is not a happy feeling. Well, things were no different here. Poor Sunny had begun to examine her new toy as they entered the hallway, and just stuck it in her mouth, when her little shoulder bumped squarely into one of the small tables that were planted along the wall. This quick move jostled the vase atop the furniture and led to a disastrous event. Ms. Massey's vase was shattered, splintered, smashed, broken.

"Sunny!" All three Baudelaires' eyes snapped up to look at Minny Massey.

Violet was afraid she might have a temper. Klaus was worried that her caring personality would begin to fade. And Sunny wasn't quite sure what to think.

"Uh oh," she said, her little eyes peering down at her mess, mouth full of a dice corner.

"Sunny, dear! Oh, are you alright?" Ms. Massey rushed forward, lifting the small girl off the floor and placing her on her hip. "It didn't cut you did it?"

"Y—you mean you're not mad?" Klaus asked incredulously.

"No! Of course, I'm not mad!" she replied. "It doesn't mean I'm happy about it, and nor does it mean you can break my things and I won't care, but I would never be 'mad'!"

"But… Mr. Poe said you'd be upset if we were to touch anything," Violet said hesitantly.

"Who-- Mr. Poe? Oh good gracious no, Violet! Sometimes Mr. Poe can be a very neurotic man. Touch away! Everything, or MOSTLY everything," she added hurriedly with a thoughtful touch of her pointer finger to her chin, "is in cabinets if it's breakable. Just… be careful, which I'm sure you will," she added with a smile, looking directly at Sunny, who nodded as best a preoccupied chewer could.

Both Violet and Klaus breathed a heavy sigh of relief, bright smiles lighting their faces. She was nothing like they had imagined and they felt terrible for doing so.

"Now, Violet, if you and your brother will take Sunny into the kitchen, I will clean up this mess before I start dinner. Perhaps there's something I can do to put this old thing back together, hmm?" Ms. Massey handed Sunny over to her older brother before bending to gather the pieces.

"Yes. Oh, and Ms. Massey---" Violet replied as she had been instructed, but was cut off.

A very fine hand shot out and touched Violet's shoulder at the name, many bracelets jangled and clanged on her wrists as big green eyes flashed as they looked her over, "Something else Mr. Poe undoubtedly told you to do. Please, call me Minny. I insist. Now what were you saying, darling, I shouldn't have cut you off like that, it is extremely rude."

Violet began again, "Minny, I was thinking, that we could start dinner if you like."

"Oh! Tish-tosh! I will not have you working like slaves," she gave them a mischievous grin, "at least not on your first day here. I will finish up soon and then start the pasta puteneska."

Klaus, Sunny and Violet exchanged a disbelieving look as they headed back. Shooed to the kitchen, they did the only thing that one could do around dinner time, besides cook, to settle an overly crammed mind: set the table. It wasn't too hard to find the drawer with the forks and knives, and the cabinets holding the plates and cups were glass, cutting down on guess-and-search time. And so it was, that by the time Minny had stepped into the kitchen with her paper bag of vase pieces, the dining room table had been set for four.

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A/N: Sorry I haven't updated for a while. I've been feeling rather braindead, or storyless for lack of better term. Hope Minny's somewhat to audience liking, she's actually an eccentric character that I rather like (you'll learn more about her later) and I think may use her in another completely original idea. 


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